My Mum is a survivor, Or so I've heard it said. But I can hear her crying at night, When all others are in bed. I watch her lay awake at night, And go to hold her hand. She doesn't know I'm with her, To help her understand. But like the sands on the beach, That never wash away... I watch over my surviving mum, Who thinks of me each day. She wears a smile for others... A smile of disguise! But through Heaven's door I see, Tears flowing from her eyes. My mum tries to cope with death, To keep my memory alive. But anyone who knows her knows, It is her way to survive. As I watch over my surviving mum, Through Heaven's open door... I try to tell her that angels, Protect me forevermore. I know that doesn't help her... Or ease the burden she bears. So if you get a chance, go visit her... And show her that you care. For no matter what she says... No matter what she feels, My surviving mum has a broken heart, That time won't ever heal.
Our baby's mission was so brief,
I cannot fathom why.
Our child had to leave so soon,
I didn't want our baby to die.
By Faith I must find a way,
to accept what I cannot alter.
I know that I need some healing time.
Lord, help me when I falter.
Grant me tears and time to grieve,
And friends with a listening ear,
Please rockabye our baby Lord,
Until I too come there.
I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child. Author unknown
If tears could build a stairway,
And memories were a lane,
I would walk up to heaven
And bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say goodbye,
You were gone before I knew it
And God only knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness,
And secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.
Since you'll never be forgotten
We pledge to you today
A hallowed place within our hearts
Is where you'll always stay
Love Mom and Dad
Author Unknown
What is Normal after your child dies?
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your
family's life.
Normal is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays, X-mas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine's Day, July 4th.
Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything anymore.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.
Normal is reliving the accident continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.
Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.
Normal is staring at every boy who looks like he is my sons age. And then thinking of the age he'd would be now. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is every happy event in your life always being backed up with
sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in your heart.
Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were
an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in
someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has
become a part of your "normal."
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your childs's memory and their birthdays and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit's the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special he would have loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son. Normal is making sure that others remember him.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. Nothing compares.
NOTHING.
Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare.
Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because you know your mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing you do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone but someone stricken with grief over the loss of their child.
Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for G-d.
"G-d may have done this because…"
I would like to believe that my son is in "heaven," but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why a fantastic young man was taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did the laundry or if there is any food.
Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two children or one child, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my son is dead.
And yet when you say you have one child to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed the dead child.
Normal is asking G-d why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a G-d.
Normal is knowing you will never get over this loss, not in a day nor a million years.
Normal is having therapists agree with you that you will never "really" get over the pain and that there is nothing they can do to help you because they know only bringing back your child back from the dead could possibly make it "better."
Normal is learning to lie to everyone you meet and telling them you are fine. You lie because it makes others uncomfortable if you cry. You've learned it's easier to lie to them then to tell them the truth that you still feel empty and it's probably never going to get any better -- ever.
And last of all...
Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to
feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal."
THE BROKEN
CHAIN
WE LITTLE KNEW THAT MORNING THAT
GOD WAS GOING TO CALL YOUR NAME.
IN LIFE WE LOVED YOU DEARLY
IN DEATH WE DO THE SAME.
IT BROKE OUR HEARTS TO LOSE YOU,
YOU DID NOT GO ALONE;
FOR PART OF US WENT WITH YOU
THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU HOME.
YOU LEFT US PEACEFUL MEMORIES,
YOUR LOVE IS STILL OUR GUIDE,
AND THOUGH WE CANNOT SEE YOU,
YOU ARE ALWAYS AT OUR SIDE.
OUR FAMILY CHAIN IS BROKEN
AND NOTHING SEEMS THE SAME,
BUT AS GOD CALLS US ONE BY ONE,
THE CHAIN WILL LINK AGAIN.
Don't Mourn For Me
Mother, please don't mourn for me; I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side, each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near. I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight--I'm the brightest star
on a summer night. I'll never be beyond your reach--
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around,
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond--
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring;
the first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on baby's face. Just look for me, Mommy,
I'm everyplace!
A letter from Heaven
My Dearest Family,
Some things I'd like to say
but first of all to let you know
that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven
where I dwell with God above
where there's no more tears or
sadness, there is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight,
remember that I'm with you
every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
as for your dearest family
they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly
as part of My big plan,
there's so much that we have to do
to help our mortal man."
Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do,
and foremost on that list of mine
is to watch and care for you.
And I will be beside you
every day and week and year,
and when you're sad,
I'm standing there
to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night,
the days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth
and all those loving years,
because you're only human
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain,
but remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
of all that God has planned,
but if I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
though my life on Earth is o'er.
I am closer to you now
than I ever was before.
And to my very many friends,
trust God knows what is best.
I'm still not far away from you,
I'm just beyond the crest.
There are rocky roads ahead of you,
and many hills to climb,
but together we can do it
taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too,
that as you give unto the World
so the World will give to you.
If you can help somebody
who is in sorrow or in pain,
then you can say to God at night
my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented
that my life it was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up
as on your way you go.
When you are walking
down the street
and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze
or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug
or just a soft embrace.
And when it's time for you to go
from that body to be free,
remember you're not going,
you are coming here to me,
And I will always love you
from that land way up above.
Will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends His Love
Signed, your son or daughter.
(Author Unknown)
MEMORIES
If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and You.
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we've tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we've cried...
You left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted You.
(Unknown)
HE ONLY TOOK MY HAND
Last night while I was trying to sleep,
My son's voice I did hear
I opened my eyes and looked around
But he did not appear.
He said "Mom you've got to listen,
You've got to understand
God didn't take me from you, Mom
He only took my hand
When I called out in pain that night,
The instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand,
And pulled me to his side.
He pulled me up and saved me
From the misery and pain
My body was hurt so badly inside,
I could never be the same.
My search is really over now,
I've found happiness within,
All the answers to my empty dreams
And all that might have been.
I love you and miss you so,
And I'll always be nearby.
My body's gone forever,
But my spirit will never die!
And so, you must go on now,
Live one day at a time.
Just understand-
God did not take me from you,
He only took my hand.
(Unknown)
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
(Jennifer Wasik)
